To summarise: FC took issue with me saying I don't think being morbidly obese is a very good idea. I initially said it less than kindly, granted. And I apologise for that.
My point in the original was that it annoys me to see people writing things like, "I'm 300 pounds but right now I'm stuffing my face with ice cream out of the container. Why can't I stop eating like this?" and so on. I don't like whiners, and I especially don't like to read or listen to whiners whining about things that are absolutely within their power to change. However, FC's comment that my use of the words "horribly fat" was vicious and prejudiced is perhaps true. Unintentionally vicious, which I feel sorry about and wholly regret, but intentionally prejudiced.
I had no desire to be cruel - exasperation can bring out the worst in us, eh? However, I also have no desire to change my stance on the issue of morbid and needless obesity, either. FC and others can wax agitatedly all they like about how there's no proof that morbid obesity in and of itself is bad for you - there is sufficient evidence for me, personally, to believe otherwise. And, I don't think that believing diseases and health complications related to obesity are ACTUALLY related to obesity makes me "stoopid" and "ignorant." A commenter talks about how she's massive and yet has no health problems. Well, that's kind of like saying "my grandma smoked a pack a day and lived to 85." Not really related, taken case-by-case, is it?
Anyway, I take issue with cutters, heavy smokers, and anorexia, too, and shan't hesitate to say I think all those things are harmful, unnecessary, and done by choice. They're less visible than fatness, which is perhaps why it's easier to bemoan such ridiculous things as obesity and anorexia, but to please FC, who thinks I should display all my prejudices at once, here you go:
Prejudices - we've all got them, whether we want them or not, and challenging them is always a good idea. But I feel slightly compelled to defend my prejudice against some things because, frankly, they're just not very ideal. I am prejudiced against the wasting of resources, in particular. Somebody three or four hundred pounds will logically use more water, food, petrol and - eventually - medical services than the average healthy-weight person would. I DO feel slightly indignant about it, just as I do about bulimic people hoffing down so much food then hurling it back up into the loo. How wasteful! If it's a disease, an illness, then get help. If not, then stop!
And that was my original point: I'm not talking about people who are "overweight" or just plain fat. That's no concern of mine. I'm talking about dangerously, extremely unhealthily obese. if you're happy being that way, then fine, go about your business. But if you're not, then for crying out loud, don't just complain about it; do something! Change what you don't like, as this brave woman did.
A good point that FC makes in a roundabout way is that talking negatively about obesity seems to give a small minority of people the idea that it's fine to abuse and assault obese people - here are some of her experiences. It's disgusting and I am horrified that people can be so terrible to complete strangers. What sort of a person throws cigarette butts and full nappies at somebody they see in the street? So, I understand that she feels my point may give some idiots the wrong idea. Something to mull over, for sure.
FC also asks why I chose the photo I did to illustrate the blog post. I chose it because it illustrated what I was, in part, talking about - somebody huge, eating irresponsibly. Nobody needs a whole cake. I can barely eat one SLICE of cake. Perhaps the photo wasn't necessary, though, eh? And I feel ashamed that I said a couple of pretty hurtful things - I used the words "horribly fat," and titled the the post "Lard, and Arses." But though I'll try harder to be less harmful from now on, I don't think it's right that I should just keep silent altogether about things I don't agree with. SUVs, unnecessary bottle-feeding, self-cutting, binge-drinking - in addition to these silly luxuries, eating to the point where you weigh more than three of me and are grinding your joints away as you walk is just one more thing I believe in avoiding, if you can.
A commenter on the post says I sound like the type of person to veil my prejudice by saying "I have fat friends." Well, it's no veil. I do have fat friends. They're absolutely terrific people and it makes me even more agitated about obesity - I don't want to lose such dear friends early, to things as stupid as, say, heart disease, bowel cancer and diabetes, which are all closely linked to dangerous weight/shape combinations.
To conclude, for heaven's sake, I do not hate fat people. I do not hate any people. Hate is not a feeling I feel when I see or talk to other human beings, whatever they look like. Just because FC says my reluctance to accept morbid obesity as just another variation on the scale of healthy lifestyles is hatred, doesn't mean it is. I don't wish FC, or any other human being, any harm or ill feeling.
I just truly, honestly, genuinely believe that in this case, my prejudice - for lack of a better word - is founded upon something pretty concrete.
1 comments:
I'm with you on this. I've been a fatty, on and off, over the years.
Going from being in "great shape" to being "a big fat dude"... and well, here's the thing. My fatness came from weakness. An inability to control my eating habits or have the discipline to work out.
But at least I never bitched and moaned about it though. Complaining and whining, though, always comes from weakness. [IMHO, of course.] And I share your loathing of it.
Someone's weight is, of course, by no means the sum total of their being, but if you're overweight, and you talk about wanting to change, and never do... then yes, I do judge you for your weakness and your inability to change and follow through.
And it's not a prejudice, which is pre-judging something without knowing... I've been there, and I don't pre-judge, I judge. There's a difference.
But if someone is happy being fat, then more power to them. Then other people's opinions shouldn't matter to them in the slightest.
But no one is under any compunction to have a good opinion of anyone else.
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