Today was frittered away on the worst hangover I've experienced in a long time. I was hung. WAY over. I do not like feeling like this!! It's a waste. Sometimes we all need a day of staggering around in our undies, lying down on the futon and thrashing about gently with some whimpers, reading random blogs, and not having to stand up straight when we do decide to try going upright for a few minutes. But on fine-weather days I'd much rather be doing something else. I feel restless and a bit snarky at myself for staying inside all day. I could have averted it all with just a few glasses of water before bed, but did I? I did not.
I did, however, make a delicious burger. With two months left to go til I depart these sweet shores, I've realised I have WAY too much food lying around and not much time left to use it all up. I am going to have to do some serious legume/pulse dishes in the next few weeks. Chick peas/lentils/random dried beans galore! Too much soba! More spices than one girl ever needs! Nine different types of flour! I do believe I am about to do something useful and make a two-month meal plan!
So, anyway, tofu and homemade (by somebody else at somebody else's home) bread were pulled from the freezer, and all the last flaccid veges from the fridge came out, much like my manfriend's penis does from his pants (I am getting slightly less cool with no proper sexings, it must be said). Most of the veg sadly went in the bin (you know how lettuces just suddenly melt on the bottom but look fine on top for ages?! whyyy) but I had fresh basil and wasabi, which I chopped up, and an avocado, which I mashed and added the herbs to, followed by a blob of honey. I also had teeny tiny tomatoes and cucumbers, which I sliced up, and yuba, which I salted, peppered, and laid across the second slice of bread (the first had the delicious avo-herb mash on it). I fried onions with the tofu, and added sake, vinegar and shoyu in the last few seconds. Some finely-sliced carrot went in a small heap with blanched spinach and sesame seeds mixed in.
Last, not to be mistaken for least, came the pickles. Three types - tiny bumpy sour whole cucumber, yellow salty-sour daikon, and delicate fragrant cabbage. Oh, my.
It was a magnificent lunch, and I ate it reading a book, with chilled barley tea, YUM, and a headache that squeezed one eye shut until I gave in and googled the name on a packet of pills I found in the cupboard that blessedly turned out to be painkillers.
Yessss.
It's 6pm as I write, and all I've gotten done today, from a long potential list, were the dishes, my lunch, a round of touching myself, and two emails. Drink and the devil did for the rest.
Sunday, 25 May 2008
Saturday, 10 May 2008
Ahh.
I think I am as big a fan of cocksucking as you can get. I often have sex dreams about it, and find myself unconsciously putting things to my mouth when I am attracted to somebody. But the worst is when I fall asleep on aeroplanes. I'm bored on aeroplanes, so I think about sucking cock, which I find very relaxing. So I fall asleep, and then wake up with my mouth cocked open (so to speak), my tongue sliding around, and one or both of my hands near it. I am serious. It's very embarrassing! When my mouth and tongue suddenly feel oddly empty my jaws click shut and it's the sound that wakes me up.
Anyway, the guy I'm seeing is getting really into having his cock sucked. It's getting much stiffer, especially if he's standing or sitting back, with me kneeling between his legs. It just feels right, that way, eh? He loves to mash his cock and balls into my face and grab me by the back of the head and really fuck my mouth hard, too, coming in giant spurts down my throat, only releasing me when I have drained him of the last drops. I am giddy with pleasure during these episodes.
Anyway, the guy I'm seeing is getting really into having his cock sucked. It's getting much stiffer, especially if he's standing or sitting back, with me kneeling between his legs. It just feels right, that way, eh? He loves to mash his cock and balls into my face and grab me by the back of the head and really fuck my mouth hard, too, coming in giant spurts down my throat, only releasing me when I have drained him of the last drops. I am giddy with pleasure during these episodes.
Thursday, 8 May 2008
Response to Fat Chick.
I've been having this argument about these comments on this blog over this post. It's not very pleasant.
To summarise: FC took issue with me saying I don't think being morbidly obese is a very good idea. I initially said it less than kindly, granted. And I apologise for that.
My point in the original was that it annoys me to see people writing things like, "I'm 300 pounds but right now I'm stuffing my face with ice cream out of the container. Why can't I stop eating like this?" and so on. I don't like whiners, and I especially don't like to read or listen to whiners whining about things that are absolutely within their power to change. However, FC's comment that my use of the words "horribly fat" was vicious and prejudiced is perhaps true. Unintentionally vicious, which I feel sorry about and wholly regret, but intentionally prejudiced.
I had no desire to be cruel - exasperation can bring out the worst in us, eh? However, I also have no desire to change my stance on the issue of morbid and needless obesity, either. FC and others can wax agitatedly all they like about how there's no proof that morbid obesity in and of itself is bad for you - there is sufficient evidence for me, personally, to believe otherwise. And, I don't think that believing diseases and health complications related to obesity are ACTUALLY related to obesity makes me "stoopid" and "ignorant." A commenter talks about how she's massive and yet has no health problems. Well, that's kind of like saying "my grandma smoked a pack a day and lived to 85." Not really related, taken case-by-case, is it?
Anyway, I take issue with cutters, heavy smokers, and anorexia, too, and shan't hesitate to say I think all those things are harmful, unnecessary, and done by choice. They're less visible than fatness, which is perhaps why it's easier to bemoan such ridiculous things as obesity and anorexia, but to please FC, who thinks I should display all my prejudices at once, here you go:
Prejudices - we've all got them, whether we want them or not, and challenging them is always a good idea. But I feel slightly compelled to defend my prejudice against some things because, frankly, they're just not very ideal. I am prejudiced against the wasting of resources, in particular. Somebody three or four hundred pounds will logically use more water, food, petrol and - eventually - medical services than the average healthy-weight person would. I DO feel slightly indignant about it, just as I do about bulimic people hoffing down so much food then hurling it back up into the loo. How wasteful! If it's a disease, an illness, then get help. If not, then stop!
And that was my original point: I'm not talking about people who are "overweight" or just plain fat. That's no concern of mine. I'm talking about dangerously, extremely unhealthily obese. if you're happy being that way, then fine, go about your business. But if you're not, then for crying out loud, don't just complain about it; do something! Change what you don't like, as this brave woman did.
A good point that FC makes in a roundabout way is that talking negatively about obesity seems to give a small minority of people the idea that it's fine to abuse and assault obese people - here are some of her experiences. It's disgusting and I am horrified that people can be so terrible to complete strangers. What sort of a person throws cigarette butts and full nappies at somebody they see in the street? So, I understand that she feels my point may give some idiots the wrong idea. Something to mull over, for sure.
FC also asks why I chose the photo I did to illustrate the blog post. I chose it because it illustrated what I was, in part, talking about - somebody huge, eating irresponsibly. Nobody needs a whole cake. I can barely eat one SLICE of cake. Perhaps the photo wasn't necessary, though, eh? And I feel ashamed that I said a couple of pretty hurtful things - I used the words "horribly fat," and titled the the post "Lard, and Arses." But though I'll try harder to be less harmful from now on, I don't think it's right that I should just keep silent altogether about things I don't agree with. SUVs, unnecessary bottle-feeding, self-cutting, binge-drinking - in addition to these silly luxuries, eating to the point where you weigh more than three of me and are grinding your joints away as you walk is just one more thing I believe in avoiding, if you can.
A commenter on the post says I sound like the type of person to veil my prejudice by saying "I have fat friends." Well, it's no veil. I do have fat friends. They're absolutely terrific people and it makes me even more agitated about obesity - I don't want to lose such dear friends early, to things as stupid as, say, heart disease, bowel cancer and diabetes, which are all closely linked to dangerous weight/shape combinations.
To conclude, for heaven's sake, I do not hate fat people. I do not hate any people. Hate is not a feeling I feel when I see or talk to other human beings, whatever they look like. Just because FC says my reluctance to accept morbid obesity as just another variation on the scale of healthy lifestyles is hatred, doesn't mean it is. I don't wish FC, or any other human being, any harm or ill feeling.
I just truly, honestly, genuinely believe that in this case, my prejudice - for lack of a better word - is founded upon something pretty concrete.
To summarise: FC took issue with me saying I don't think being morbidly obese is a very good idea. I initially said it less than kindly, granted. And I apologise for that.
My point in the original was that it annoys me to see people writing things like, "I'm 300 pounds but right now I'm stuffing my face with ice cream out of the container. Why can't I stop eating like this?" and so on. I don't like whiners, and I especially don't like to read or listen to whiners whining about things that are absolutely within their power to change. However, FC's comment that my use of the words "horribly fat" was vicious and prejudiced is perhaps true. Unintentionally vicious, which I feel sorry about and wholly regret, but intentionally prejudiced.
I had no desire to be cruel - exasperation can bring out the worst in us, eh? However, I also have no desire to change my stance on the issue of morbid and needless obesity, either. FC and others can wax agitatedly all they like about how there's no proof that morbid obesity in and of itself is bad for you - there is sufficient evidence for me, personally, to believe otherwise. And, I don't think that believing diseases and health complications related to obesity are ACTUALLY related to obesity makes me "stoopid" and "ignorant." A commenter talks about how she's massive and yet has no health problems. Well, that's kind of like saying "my grandma smoked a pack a day and lived to 85." Not really related, taken case-by-case, is it?
Anyway, I take issue with cutters, heavy smokers, and anorexia, too, and shan't hesitate to say I think all those things are harmful, unnecessary, and done by choice. They're less visible than fatness, which is perhaps why it's easier to bemoan such ridiculous things as obesity and anorexia, but to please FC, who thinks I should display all my prejudices at once, here you go:
Prejudices - we've all got them, whether we want them or not, and challenging them is always a good idea. But I feel slightly compelled to defend my prejudice against some things because, frankly, they're just not very ideal. I am prejudiced against the wasting of resources, in particular. Somebody three or four hundred pounds will logically use more water, food, petrol and - eventually - medical services than the average healthy-weight person would. I DO feel slightly indignant about it, just as I do about bulimic people hoffing down so much food then hurling it back up into the loo. How wasteful! If it's a disease, an illness, then get help. If not, then stop!
And that was my original point: I'm not talking about people who are "overweight" or just plain fat. That's no concern of mine. I'm talking about dangerously, extremely unhealthily obese. if you're happy being that way, then fine, go about your business. But if you're not, then for crying out loud, don't just complain about it; do something! Change what you don't like, as this brave woman did.
A good point that FC makes in a roundabout way is that talking negatively about obesity seems to give a small minority of people the idea that it's fine to abuse and assault obese people - here are some of her experiences. It's disgusting and I am horrified that people can be so terrible to complete strangers. What sort of a person throws cigarette butts and full nappies at somebody they see in the street? So, I understand that she feels my point may give some idiots the wrong idea. Something to mull over, for sure.
FC also asks why I chose the photo I did to illustrate the blog post. I chose it because it illustrated what I was, in part, talking about - somebody huge, eating irresponsibly. Nobody needs a whole cake. I can barely eat one SLICE of cake. Perhaps the photo wasn't necessary, though, eh? And I feel ashamed that I said a couple of pretty hurtful things - I used the words "horribly fat," and titled the the post "Lard, and Arses." But though I'll try harder to be less harmful from now on, I don't think it's right that I should just keep silent altogether about things I don't agree with. SUVs, unnecessary bottle-feeding, self-cutting, binge-drinking - in addition to these silly luxuries, eating to the point where you weigh more than three of me and are grinding your joints away as you walk is just one more thing I believe in avoiding, if you can.
A commenter on the post says I sound like the type of person to veil my prejudice by saying "I have fat friends." Well, it's no veil. I do have fat friends. They're absolutely terrific people and it makes me even more agitated about obesity - I don't want to lose such dear friends early, to things as stupid as, say, heart disease, bowel cancer and diabetes, which are all closely linked to dangerous weight/shape combinations.
To conclude, for heaven's sake, I do not hate fat people. I do not hate any people. Hate is not a feeling I feel when I see or talk to other human beings, whatever they look like. Just because FC says my reluctance to accept morbid obesity as just another variation on the scale of healthy lifestyles is hatred, doesn't mean it is. I don't wish FC, or any other human being, any harm or ill feeling.
I just truly, honestly, genuinely believe that in this case, my prejudice - for lack of a better word - is founded upon something pretty concrete.
Tuesday, 6 May 2008
Reasons to be glad Bill Hicks is dead, and about smoking.
1. He will never utter the words "Lindsay Lohan" or "Harry Potter" (aaargh now they're on my blog)
2. Watching him smoke - especially when he was slim-hipped and thick-haired - was toooo sexy.
Smoking is something I find pretty gross in general and don't have much patience for - it stinks, it's expensive, it does your body grievous damage and causes you to grow cancers blar blar blar - we all know it's crap and you must be mad if you think it's a good idea.
But when a hot guy - one who reeeaaally enjoys smoking - smokes while looking at me, I find it irresistible. Oh, man. I can't look away. I get wriggly thighs and find myself unconsciously touching my mouth and body and imagining him smoking while fucking me... putting a cigarette in his mouth so his hands are both free to shove me back and forth on his cock while he squints through the smoke...
The guy about whom I was quite lovesick earlier this year was practically a chain-smoker. His teeth were stained, his fingers were callused, and he coughed like a blocked grenade launcher. But oh, to watch him smoke was a thing of beauty.
The guy I'm seeing now gave up smoking a couple of months ago because once he heard me say I thought smokers smelled awful. Secretly, though, I'd be stoked to watch him smoke one more time.
Don't passive-aggressiveness me, you ghoul
Gave a person a lift, twice, for four hours each way. Four hours! Though she's nice, I don't particularly adore spending much time with her so it was well beyond the call of duty. But she was going to the same place as me, and came to my house first, so I didn't have to go out of my way to pick her up, so I didn't really mind. On the way back, though, this is the conversation we had:
Her: Hey, so, you don't mind dropping me back in my town, right?
Me: Uh... yeah...
Her: Great, thanks!
Me: Wait, that was more a "yeah...nah," than a "yeah sure." I've just... I've been driving for six hours already today and not really keen to drive for another hour, you know? Sorry, mate. I'm a bit knackered.
Her: Well, I just honestly don't think it would take an hour.
Me: ...About half an hour there, half an hour back, right? Honestly, I have [hobby] class tonight and would really like to eat something and relax a little bit before I go.
Her: OK, well, it's just that I'm quite tired too.
Me: ...
Her: It's OK, I can ride my bike. It only takes forty-five minutes. I've got blisters and a heavy bag, but I don't mind, it's OK.
Me: Sweet then.
Her: [large tired-sounding puffs of air come out of her nose and mouth and I can feel her looking at me] Oh, wow, my knee really hurts. I think I sprained my ankle on the weekend!
Me: Oh.
Her: Yeah, I don't know if I should be riding.
Me: [Tight smile] I'm not driving to your town. Sorry. It's too far out of my way and I don't have the time or energy.
Her: No, that's FINE. It's FINE.
Such repulsive behaviour! I even waited two hours to pick her up earlier that day without so much as a "sorry to have kept you" from her.
MANNERS please, you peon.
Her: Hey, so, you don't mind dropping me back in my town, right?
Me: Uh... yeah...
Her: Great, thanks!
Me: Wait, that was more a "yeah...nah," than a "yeah sure." I've just... I've been driving for six hours already today and not really keen to drive for another hour, you know? Sorry, mate. I'm a bit knackered.
Her: Well, I just honestly don't think it would take an hour.
Me: ...About half an hour there, half an hour back, right? Honestly, I have [hobby] class tonight and would really like to eat something and relax a little bit before I go.
Her: OK, well, it's just that I'm quite tired too.
Me: ...
Her: It's OK, I can ride my bike. It only takes forty-five minutes. I've got blisters and a heavy bag, but I don't mind, it's OK.
Me: Sweet then.
Her: [large tired-sounding puffs of air come out of her nose and mouth and I can feel her looking at me] Oh, wow, my knee really hurts. I think I sprained my ankle on the weekend!
Me: Oh.
Her: Yeah, I don't know if I should be riding.
Me: [Tight smile] I'm not driving to your town. Sorry. It's too far out of my way and I don't have the time or energy.
Her: No, that's FINE. It's FINE.
Such repulsive behaviour! I even waited two hours to pick her up earlier that day without so much as a "sorry to have kept you" from her.
MANNERS please, you peon.
Thursday, 1 May 2008
Teh ears, meh. Teh shoulders: YES!!!!!1.
Why do some people like having their ears licked? I am against it. It's so loud and wet. I much prefer having my shoulder blades lightly stroked and bitten and kissed.
Fortunately for meeee, Dude I'm Seeing appears to feel much the same way.
Also, last night he got a big stiffy! He looked as surprised as I was. (Of course I was cocksucking at the time.) YAY!! There is hope! But even without hardons, the sex is so good I'm still not that concerned about the lack of penis-vagina intercourse.
It's also really nice not having to fuss about contraception - no need for condoms or anything and no worrying about getting pregnant or infected.
Isn't "infected" a lovely word to end a post on?
Infected.
Fortunately for meeee, Dude I'm Seeing appears to feel much the same way.
Also, last night he got a big stiffy! He looked as surprised as I was. (Of course I was cocksucking at the time.) YAY!! There is hope! But even without hardons, the sex is so good I'm still not that concerned about the lack of penis-vagina intercourse.
It's also really nice not having to fuss about contraception - no need for condoms or anything and no worrying about getting pregnant or infected.
Isn't "infected" a lovely word to end a post on?
Infected.
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